Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Life hurts, sometimes.

I'm mourning the loss of a friendship today. And it's breaking my heart. The hardest part of this whole thing is that I'm primarily to blame for the demise of this relationship.

There are very few things in my life that I wish I could go back and do differently. I usually live my life very free of regret. But at this moment, I would give almost anything to be able to rewind the clock back to a year ago.

Most of the time, when I'm upset about something, I'm able to pull back and look at it from the larger perspective of eternal life, and that always seems to help me realize how unimportant the problem truly is. I can't do that this time.

Relationships are different ... they are made of traces of eternity.

Today I hate this free will that God has given me. I hate that I have the ability to choose to do things that hurt other people. I hate that I am selfish and fallen and capable of causing others pain. Today I hate my human nature.

Lord, help me to do better tomorrow.


frank said...

I know how you feel. Sometimes our free will can be our free fall.

Deanna Regina said...

i hate that the older we grow the more pain we feel...i wish i could be 7 again where my greatest pain was my skinned knee