Chris and I recently discovered something about God's involvement in our story that totally blew us away.
Check this out.
The other night we were talking about many of our single friends. I mentioned how back in early 2005, I had a very revolutionary experience in my journey as a single woman. Being married was something I had desired for many years and I struggled with trying to truly be content to wait on God while still deeply desiring a husband. I felt like every time I prayed about it, I was in a way telling God I wasn't content. The thing was, though, there was no use pretending it wasn't constantly on my mind. It was.
As 2005 started, I made a decision that instead of pretending that it wasn't constantly on my mind, I'd acknowledge that it was and then give that to God. I made a commitment to pray every day for my husband - whoever he was and wherever he might be. Beginning January 1, 2005, I spent my 20 minute drive to work each day praying for my husband. I prayed for his heart for God. I prayed for his job. I prayed for his family. I prayed for his thought life. I prayed for his fears. I prayed for his dreams.
Even though nothing changed outwardly in my dating life, my attitude changed because I felt like I was finally doing something. It was empowering to be able to openly admit my desire and give it up to God.
I prayed very consistently from several months. Around the beginning of April, as summer approached, life got busier and I prayed with less frequency. However, for those three months, my prayer life had come alive in a way it never had before. And my struggle with being single took on a new purpose.
I mentioned this to Chris the other night. He got this knowing smile on his face and told me he wasn't surprised.
Because on April 24, 2005, after several months of soul searching, Chris surrendered his life to God.
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dating. Show all posts
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Monday, March 9, 2009
He Chose Me
Every once in a while I get completely overwhelmed with the people that God has chosen to put into my life. Does that ever happen to you? It happened for me tonight.
I haven't talked much about my boyfriend Chris on this blog. We were coworkers first before we were dating, and many of our mutual coworkers read this blog, so it's always felt a little weird to get all mushy about him here. But I feel like it's long overdue. After tonight, I couldn't NOT write about him. (Coworkers, consider yourself warned.)
I'll try to keep the mush factor to a minimum in this post, but you guys, he is seriously unbelievable. I am in awe that God has decided that we're right for each other. I don't deserve him. Here's an example ...
Tonight, I was having one "those" nights. Nothing major happened, but for some reason I was in a funk. I felt burdened by life, annoyed at the world, frustrated with my dog, crampy, tired, and irritable. I know I was not pleasant company. On top of all that, tonight is Monday, which means we had dance class (a.k.a. our weekly fight.)
There were so many reasons for Chris to get frustrated with me. But you know what? He didn't.
He didn't say "I told you so" when my dog ignored me, even though he HAS told me many times exactly how to train her. He didn't get impatient with me when I messed up the dance steps. Over and over again. He didn't try to pull me out of my funk or fix anything - he was just there with me while I was in it. He allowed me to be grouchy without allowing it to affect him. He listened to me and hugged me and encouraged me and told me I was lovely.
This man was a perfect reflection of Christ to me tonight. And do you want to know the most amazing part? He is like that a lot. Even in those times when he gets stressed or angry or frustrated, he somehow manages to keep God in focus. I've never met anyone who is able to do that like he does.
There's so much more I want to say about him, but I'll save that for another post. Suffice it to say I feel incredibly lucky - no, incredibly blessed - that he thinks I'm worth loving.
I'm honored that he's chosen me.
I haven't talked much about my boyfriend Chris on this blog. We were coworkers first before we were dating, and many of our mutual coworkers read this blog, so it's always felt a little weird to get all mushy about him here. But I feel like it's long overdue. After tonight, I couldn't NOT write about him. (Coworkers, consider yourself warned.)
I'll try to keep the mush factor to a minimum in this post, but you guys, he is seriously unbelievable. I am in awe that God has decided that we're right for each other. I don't deserve him. Here's an example ...
Tonight, I was having one "those" nights. Nothing major happened, but for some reason I was in a funk. I felt burdened by life, annoyed at the world, frustrated with my dog, crampy, tired, and irritable. I know I was not pleasant company. On top of all that, tonight is Monday, which means we had dance class (a.k.a. our weekly fight.)
There were so many reasons for Chris to get frustrated with me. But you know what? He didn't.
He didn't say "I told you so" when my dog ignored me, even though he HAS told me many times exactly how to train her. He didn't get impatient with me when I messed up the dance steps. Over and over again. He didn't try to pull me out of my funk or fix anything - he was just there with me while I was in it. He allowed me to be grouchy without allowing it to affect him. He listened to me and hugged me and encouraged me and told me I was lovely.
This man was a perfect reflection of Christ to me tonight. And do you want to know the most amazing part? He is like that a lot. Even in those times when he gets stressed or angry or frustrated, he somehow manages to keep God in focus. I've never met anyone who is able to do that like he does.
There's so much more I want to say about him, but I'll save that for another post. Suffice it to say I feel incredibly lucky - no, incredibly blessed - that he thinks I'm worth loving.
I'm honored that he's chosen me.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Dance Lessons
Chris and I have been taking dance lessons.
West Coast Swing, to be exact.
We're five weeks into the three month beginners class. After five weeks, here is the conclusion I've come to: Every couple should take dance lessons.
I never realized this before, but dancing is perfect practice for a relationship. The things you have to learn in order to dance well are, I think, some of the most important things to learn in order to have a successful relationship.
1. There must be a clear leader and a clear follower.
We learned this lesson quickly ... two leaders won't work. In our very first class, I realized that I had no idea how to follow a lead. I'm sure this is something many women today struggle with. How can I expect him to be the leader - in our dance OR our relationship - if I won't let him lead? Still working on this one ...
2. You must be totally in tune with the other person.
West Coast Swing is a series of six or eight-count steps. The sequence of the steps is entirely up to the man, so the woman has constantly be reading his "signals." If either person is not paying attention to the other one, the dance falls apart. Not unlike a relationship.
3. Both people have to trust their partner completely.
With West Coast Swing, there is a lot of leaning involved. (It's called extension-compression technique.) Both people have to give equal pressure or one person gets off balance. Trust and confidence in your partner is critical.
4. There must be a strong connection between the two of you.
Chemistry between dance partners is what brings the dance to life. Eye contact, we've discovered, is a big part of this connection. West Coast Swing can be a very sexy dance when the connection is there.
I'm sure there are more parallels I could find. But you see my point.
Learning to dance has been like taking our relationship and putting it into a pressure cooker - all the stress causes everything to rise to the top. We've both had to let go of major insecurities and give each other a lot of grace.
But we're learning a lot and I'm totally convinced it's worth all the work. Besides the fact that we're working through some deep issues and will have a stronger, more fulfilling relationship because of it, we'll also be able to bust a move at the next wedding we attend.
Here a video of some of the world's best West Coast Swing dancers.
West Coast Swing, to be exact.
We're five weeks into the three month beginners class. After five weeks, here is the conclusion I've come to: Every couple should take dance lessons.
I never realized this before, but dancing is perfect practice for a relationship. The things you have to learn in order to dance well are, I think, some of the most important things to learn in order to have a successful relationship.
1. There must be a clear leader and a clear follower.
We learned this lesson quickly ... two leaders won't work. In our very first class, I realized that I had no idea how to follow a lead. I'm sure this is something many women today struggle with. How can I expect him to be the leader - in our dance OR our relationship - if I won't let him lead? Still working on this one ...
2. You must be totally in tune with the other person.
West Coast Swing is a series of six or eight-count steps. The sequence of the steps is entirely up to the man, so the woman has constantly be reading his "signals." If either person is not paying attention to the other one, the dance falls apart. Not unlike a relationship.
3. Both people have to trust their partner completely.
With West Coast Swing, there is a lot of leaning involved. (It's called extension-compression technique.) Both people have to give equal pressure or one person gets off balance. Trust and confidence in your partner is critical.
4. There must be a strong connection between the two of you.
Chemistry between dance partners is what brings the dance to life. Eye contact, we've discovered, is a big part of this connection. West Coast Swing can be a very sexy dance when the connection is there.
I'm sure there are more parallels I could find. But you see my point.
Learning to dance has been like taking our relationship and putting it into a pressure cooker - all the stress causes everything to rise to the top. We've both had to let go of major insecurities and give each other a lot of grace.
But we're learning a lot and I'm totally convinced it's worth all the work. Besides the fact that we're working through some deep issues and will have a stronger, more fulfilling relationship because of it, we'll also be able to bust a move at the next wedding we attend.
Here a video of some of the world's best West Coast Swing dancers.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Single
Can I be real with you for a few minutes? Thanks. I just need to bare my soul. It doesn't happen too often, at least not in public forums like this.
A disclaimer: I'm writing this post mainly for my single friends. I decided to share it specifically for others that might be weathering a similar storm in the same boat. If you're married and interested in the woes of a single girl, then by all means, read on. Just wanted to give you fair warning.
Dating sucks. I have had more false starts than I care to count. Here's a little glimpse into my journal from a few days ago.
So there ya go. My soul, bared. Bleh. Not very pretty, is it? I'm not sure why this has hit me so hard these past couple weeks. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that 30 is just a couple months away ... I don't know. This whole "struggling with a birthday" thing is brand new to me. But this valley is a deep one.
And yet.
God still sits on the throne. He hears my prayers - my words of frustration and discouragement - and he says, "I love you, Becky. Will you trust me in this?"
So on I go, trusting that he'll bring an amazing husband to me - one who will be more than worth the wait.
A disclaimer: I'm writing this post mainly for my single friends. I decided to share it specifically for others that might be weathering a similar storm in the same boat. If you're married and interested in the woes of a single girl, then by all means, read on. Just wanted to give you fair warning.
Dating sucks. I have had more false starts than I care to count. Here's a little glimpse into my journal from a few days ago.
I've not been doing well with the whole single thing lately. I fear I'm becoming "that girl." You know the one ... lonely and desperate to be with someone. Especially during the last couple weeks, it seems like my single status has been on my mind constantly. I feel very single everywhere I go. And very alone. It's been hard ... a HUGE mental, emotional, spiritual battle. I fight against a new wave of depression and discouragement every day. I fight to find my worth in the truth about who God says I am. Satan tells me lies consistently about how I'm not attractive to men and how I'll never have anyone. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster and my emotions change by the hour. I struggle not to doubt the Lord and his timing. I get angry and frustrated and impatient with him. I try to figure out what he's waiting for - what I can change or do to make the timing finally "right." I put on a happy, content face and encourage my other single friends while inside I'm filled with oceans of fear and doubt and insecurities.
So there ya go. My soul, bared. Bleh. Not very pretty, is it? I'm not sure why this has hit me so hard these past couple weeks. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that 30 is just a couple months away ... I don't know. This whole "struggling with a birthday" thing is brand new to me. But this valley is a deep one.
And yet.
God still sits on the throne. He hears my prayers - my words of frustration and discouragement - and he says, "I love you, Becky. Will you trust me in this?"
So on I go, trusting that he'll bring an amazing husband to me - one who will be more than worth the wait.
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